When Wellbeing Australia did a survey with teachers, several mentioned that their wellbeing was undermined by poor student behaviour. And this is reflected in other research. No-one wants to be faced every day by angry, bored young people, who are not in the least bit interested in what you are trying to teach them, let alone compliant in following instructions.
I taught kids like this for much of my own teaching career, mostly out of mainstream school, so was lucky enough to have more time than most to deal with issues as they arose. But over the years, working across many schools and countries and researching what works I have come to realise how much needs to change for both pupils and educators. Some of these are outside the remit of individuals or even schools and rely on a complete revisiting of education policy. But in the meantime here are just a few ideas that might keep a stressed educator’s head (and heart) above water.
No child is born bad. It is what has happened to them that has resulted in their anger, distress, need to be heard and inability to focus. Whatever you do, do not take their behaviour personally – it might look and sound like an attack on you but it isn’t.
When someone is having a meltdown the part of the brain called the amygdala is in control and is responding to perceived threat – thinking straight isn’t an option so don’t ask for an explanation. Stand back, speak quietly and validate the distress, eg ‘I can see something has really upset you, let me know if you need to take a break’
Treat every single pupil with consistent respect and try to find something about them to like – however hard this might be. Yours might be the only smile they get in a day – over time this will add up. Try to avoid control– ask questions rather than making statements. Wherever possible give choices.
Behaviourism doesn’t work. If punishment worked our prisons would be empty. Relationships work. Find out something about a student; music they like, pets they have, teams they support. And then have very brief conversations with them to show you remember. If you are doing regular Circle Solutions (Social and emotional learning) then this is easy. Otherwise, it might take longer. If you have the opportunity when they first come to your class make a point of finding out then. You will soon know which students are the ones who are likely to give you a hard time.
Don’t bother with bland praise but do use the language of strengths. Students who are told they are lazy, selfish or naughty have nothing to live up to. If you tell them they are becoming more mature, you have seen them be a good friend, that they have a sense of fairness you are helping to construct a more positive self-concept.
In the staffroom, be aware of the language that is used to describe such students. In one school I worked in it was not seen as acceptable to ‘bad-mouth’ the students because there was a recognition that this impacted on how they were perceived and positioned in the classroom.
And when you have had the worst of all possible days, go home and connect with people who love and care about you. For some of those kids, this option is not available to them.
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